"Today, do something to make it to the top. Are you happy plowing along your everyday furrow? Why not seek to rise above your station? Why not be the main man, the top boss, the biggest fish in the pond? They didn't get there by moping around being friendly to their neighbors. Grow a spine and stab someone in the back. Life if you have to. Steal if you need to. Kill if you must. Today every action must be performed with an eye to the main chance. Make friends, influence people, then dump them as you make your way up the greasy pole. Today, look out for #1."
There wasn't very much standing in the way of what I wanted to do today. I got a lot of things done that I needed and wanted to do without having to cut anybody down in the process.
"Attention! Your second down payment on this Book is due tomorrow. To avoid any surcharge or penalty payments, make sure you transfer the balance of your account (another $18.00, plus tax) to us today. Please write checks to: Benrik Ltd, and send c/o Scott Waxman, 80 Fifth Avenue, Suite 1101, New York, NY 10011, USA. Fines for late payment up to $3000"
Since I didn't actually pay for The Book myself, my balance should already be free and clear of any remaining payments. Woo!
"Guidelines for calling in sick: If possible, leave a message for your boss before he gets in. Before calling, convince yourself you really are sick. Double bluff: avoid over elaborate excuses. Simple ones are best e.g. "I feel sick." If pressed on specific symptoms, mention something socially embarrasing like "I've spent half the night on the toilet." to end their line of questioning. Good things to do in Bed: sleep; curl up in fetal position; hug a pillow; listen to the world outside at work; sniffle/cough/wheeze; read a trashy novel; talk to Mom on the phone under the duvet; stroke that cat/dog/yourself'; write a long letter to a distant relative; feel a bit sorry for yourself."
Unfortunately, I didn't have the opportunity to stay in bed today. I do however have a nice relaxing weekend starting tomorrow, so I'm sure to spend plenty of my time all curled up and watching TV.
"Today, destroy photos that make you look ugly. Everyone has a pile of old photos lying around. Good ones are invaluable: the represent good memories to cherish for the rest of your life. But bad photos are bad karma: they represent negative moments of your life and show you as boring, ugly, or demonic. Burn them promptly."
I tend to have a lot of photos that make me look stupid, but that's mostly because I intentionally look stupid for photos. I do however have one picture that I'd like to get rid of. It was my very first profile picture when I started a Facebook account. I was extra fat, I still had my long hair, and I'm doing this weird pose that I thought would make me look cool. I think burning that picture will definitely do me some good.
"Whether god exists or not is a pretty fundamental questions, and one that could make a big difference to your life. If you're not yet convinced either way, find out for sure with questions which are especially designed to make him manifest himself. It's best to address them from a mount or hill of some sort, as that's how he's used to humans communicating with him."
As many of you may know, I am firmly on the side of "not buying it". But I also realize that it's impossible to prove that something doesn't exist, that makes just as little sense. But I do know where I can point to for evidence that drops the probability to microscopic levels.
Today, I found God Is Imaginary.com which lists 50 simple, logical reasons that god probably doesn't exist. While the author of the site makes the not-so-far leap to saying that god is definitely imaginary, it still doesn't prove nonexistence.
I've also always had major problems with the bible. The way I see it, there are two ways that you can think of it: either as the literal word of god and therefore containing no room for interpretation, or it is not the literal word of god and any interpretation is a fabrication of the reader. If it is the literal word of god, everything contained is an absolute truth and must be obeyed. Lacking human desires, god would have no need or want to lie, meaning that all of his words must be taken as undeniable fact. With a single factual inaccuracy, the legitimacy of the bible must be brought into question. In 1 Kings 7:23, the value of Pi is stated to be 3, which we know today isn't true. Among the list of other inaccuracies are Leviticus 11:13-19 (bats are not birds), Leviticus 11:6 (rabbits do not chew cud), Leviticus 11:20-22 (insects have 6 legs, not 4), and Deuteronomy 14:7 (camels have split hooves), Psalms 104:5 (the earth is neither stationary in space, nor on the surface). With this amount of factual errors, an omniscient god could not have written the bible.
I won't go into great detail, but there are many compelling arguments against the existence of a god:
The Problem of Evil states that a benevolent, all-powerful god would not allow the existence of evil, yet evil still exists.
The Argument from Poor Design states that life generally exhibits poor design, which an all-powerful god would not have intended or allow to happen.
The Argument from Nonbelief basically states that if god truly existed, that he would have done a better job of letting people know.
The Omnipotence Paradox: "Could god create a stone so heavy that he himself could not lift it?"
The Problem Problem of Hell demonstrates that the existence of hell is in direct contradiction to god's attributed omnibenevolance.
The Argument from Free Will states that an omniscient god could not possibly give free will to humans, as they are bound to follow what he already knows would happen.
Basically what I'm trying to say here is that I have never been given a good reason to believe in a god, or any god for that matter. In fact, everything that I've experienced goes against the idea that one or any god exists. A lack of evidence already puts the probability of existence below the threshold of reasonable belief (50-50), and the logical thought behind the arguments of nonexistence weighs that scale astronomically against it. The Atheist's Wager is a philosophical concept that I try to embrace in my life and it states the following:
You should live your life and try to make the world a better place for your being in it, whether or not you believe in god. If there is no god, you have lost nothing and will be remember fondly by those you left behind. If there is a benevolent god, he will judge you on your merits and not just on whether or not you believed in him.
That's all. Don't be a dick. Play nice with others. Share your toys. You shouldn't need a god to tell you that that's what you're supposed to do in life.
"The Aunt Roberta is the strongest cocktail in the world. Invite a friend over today and sample it."
The Aunt Roberta was invented in the late 1800's by an Alabama woman known today only as Aunt Roberta. Little is known about Roberta except that she was the mulatto daughter of a slave owner who fled an abusive home life and alcoholic father at the tender age of 11. Early on, she made her living picking cotton, and was nomadic for much of her early life.
She worked as a prostitute before her bootleg shack, where she began her career in the alcoholic beverage business by selling drinks made of homemade gin and moonshine. Most of the patrons of her establishment were homeless people, and it's 34 people are rumored to have died over the two years she sold her homemade concoction.
Apparently, she stumbled upon it when drunk and was never able to get exactly the right measures again. She died in poverty aged 32 in 1886.
The drink was made famous when a customer of Aunt Roberta's, a raccoon hunter named Billy Joe Spratt, introduced his version of the cocktail to New York after Aunt Roberta's death. Spratt opened a series of bars based on the Aunt Roberta cocktail, and within two years became a millionaire.
The Aunt Roberta
2 shots Absinthe
1 shot Brandy
3 shots Vodka
1.5 shot Gin
1 shot Blackberry Liqueur
Overall, this was a very bad idea. Not only was I unable to drink the entire cocktail due to the insane amounts of alcohol, the drink itself didn't taste very good at all. I mean, I suppose that's what happens when you have a glass filled with random booze, but I expected it would be at least somewhat palatable.
