Day 217: VIP Day

"These are people we'd like to buy and read The Book. If your name is on the list, please use the exclusive for to tell us what you think. If your name isn't on the list, please turn the page and move along. Thank you."

Day 216: Live for the Moment

"That moment is 9:31:22 to 9:31:32. Plan your entire day around that one single second of absolute choking nirvana. First, purchase the necessary accessories: one rare Belgian white truffle sugar-dusted chocolate, silk pajamas, the sleekest hi-fi system available and a CD of Maria Callas. Retire to your home, where after a restorative siesta, you are to bathe in champagne for an hour or so, before receiving a massage from some gorgeous Swedish creature. As the blissful second nears, pop the chocolate in your mouth, kiss the love of your life, and bring your self to orgasm at 9:31:22, precisely the moment when Maria Callas hits the high note in Tosca's "Vissi D'Arte" aria. Truly now, you may say you'll die having lived."

I didn't get a chance to do.... any of that. But I did spend the night at a party for one of my friend's birthdays. It was really nice to get a chance to hang out with everyone and let loose for a bit after not seeing each other over summer break. In honor of The Moment, we all toasted to a great last semester at 9:31.

Day 215: Welcome a New Life

"Every day, an average of 202,176 babies are born worldwide. That's one new life on the planet every 25 seconds. Go to your nearest maternity ward and welcome one of the little guys."

It turns out that the nearest hospital with a maternity ward is about 45 minutes away and I don't have money for gas to drive that far. Maybe once I get a chance to I'll get down there.

Day 214

"Today, measure your IQ."

I can't vouch for the reliability of online IQ tests, but I found one that seemed to be somewhat legit. According to this test I have an IQ of about 123, which puts me in the ranking of  "Highly Intelligent". Not a genius, but I'm definitely smarter than your average bear.

Day 213: Surveillance Special

"Today, stage a crime in front of a back-alley security camera and see if anyone comes to the rescue."

Today while in Target, I walked around very suspiciously near all of the security cameras, hoping to coax that mall cops into coming and following me around. Unfortunately, I did not achieve any noticeable response.

Day 212: Pillow Book

"Tonight, use The Book as your pillow book and write down your dreams. What is a pillow book? The pillow book is a Japanese institution, first used in 550 AD by the Asuka Dynasty. It is used to record thoughts, events, dreams. Now, the Asukas used to mainly dream about giant serpents, many-clawed dragons, saber-toothed tigers, and the like, but there's no reason why you can't write down your boring old everyday dreams about your third-grade teacher. You must, however, use Japanese calligraphy to do so."

I can only really remember one of my dreams from last night while sleeping on top of the book. So here it is, I guess:

私は世界を引き継ぐしようとする邪悪な医者の文字のいくつかの並べ替えとして私の甥を覚えている

Jour 211: Protest Violently against the Government

"End your vacation on a high note, with a spot of rioting. In France you need no particular excuse for direct action, as the 1789 revolution was never officially declared to have ended. Just lob bricks or manure at the nearest official-looking building and you will soon be introduced to the local riot police who will assist you back home after a brief spell en prison. Vacationing at Home? Best to end vacation early on this one."

I think I'll take The Book's advice on this one. Bad things are known to happen to those who violently protest the American government, especially in this day and age.