The End of the Tour

Well, that's all folks (not that anyone really read this thing anyway). I made it through the year. Overall, I think that The Book was a really fun experiment to change up my everyday routine and try some new things for a change. Admittedly, I didn't try as hard as I could have or should have on some of the days, especially towards the end (which is evident in the postings). For what it was, I really did have fun following The Book's instructions and trying to challenge myself to do new and different things with my life. However, it will be a bit of a relief now that I'm done with it. I'll be passing The Book on to a friend and hopefully she does her best to keep things interesting. To those of you that may have actually read this, thanks for following along. It's been one hell of a ride.

Day 365: New You Party

"Well Done! You have completed a full year of life-changing instructions. By now, you should be a completely different person. Throw a party where you will unveil the "new you" to your friends and acquaintances. You will probably find that your entourage no longer suits the new you. Where once you were quite happy to discuss last night's reruns of Cheers, now you crave conversation of a more cultivated nature, like some lights badinage about Brecht perhaps? Two solutions offer themselves to you. First, give all your old friends a copy of the Book so they can catch up with you. Second, discard them and acquire some new ones."

Well, I made it! A whole year of doing weird things everyday for pretty much nobody's entertainment but my own. Being that there's actually 366 days in this year, I'll having my festivities tomorrow but I wanted to make sure that I got the post in for today. As for my options with friends, I already have a friend who has chosen to take over the mantel of The Book and do her best to follow it's instructions. Once I get her address, I'll be mailing her The Book.

Day 364

"Try one of these sexual positions."

The Book then lists 16 positions ranging from Beginners to Porn Star. Whatever the position is where you work 10 hours and then drive home through a blizzard, that's the one that I tried and to be honest it wasn't that fun.

Day 363: Increase your tolerance for hot food

"Most westerners are used to bland seasoning, though with a bit of exercise they could get used to the spicier diet that other civilizations enjoy. Today, work out your current limits."

I already enjoy my food on the spicier side, but today I tried pushing my limits a little further. I thoroughly doused all my my food with hot sauces (Frank's Red Hot and a XXX Habenero sauce from Belize). However, I didn't notice any huge differences in how much I could handle. I guess you can just call me Johnny Storm.

Day 362

"Today, imagine what it would be like to be this person. Are you fulfilled  What is your job? Do you break down and sob quietly in the middle of the night? Are you sex-mad? What is your dream in life? Have you ever known true love?"

The guy pictured in the book is an old man that looks a lot like Rodney Dangerfield. I can only imagine what it feels like to get that little amount of respect.

Day 361

"Place an ant on this page and trace its movements with a pencil."

I tried finding an ant, but it's the middle of December and even if I felt like digging through the snow I doubt that I would find any to take.

Day 360: Disinherit a Relative!

"Does your teenage daughter monopolize the phone? Does your brother still call you Junior? Does your annoying cousin persist in claiming he has better barbecuing technique? Today, cut an undeserving relative out of your will, raising the stakes with expressions such as 'I renounce you,' 'You are no longer my mother,' or 'I can't believe you are the fruit of my loins.'"

Being that my family is already pretty small, nobody annoys me to the point of banishment. I will, however, keep the option in mind should the need ever arise.

Day 359: Hand Deliver All Your E-mails

"No one denies email is a convenient business tool, but it cannot replace face to face interaction  source of ideas, and team spirit. Today, get the best of both worlds by printing out your e-mails and taking them round personally."

Luckily, I didn't have any emails to send today so I really didn't have to do anything.

Day 358

"Sketch someone opposite you on public transport and see how they react."

I don't use public transport, but I did see this one interesting guy I decided to sketch.

How did I do?

Day 357: Come out as a Book-owner

"Wear one red sock and see if there's anyone else out there. If you spot someone sporting a red sock today, engage them in conversation. You may assume straight off that as Book-owners they are bright discerning individuals with a good sense of humor and finely honed critical faculties, and therefore well-worth knowing. They are not going to respond with some oafish overture like 'nice sock!' wink-wink."

I didn't find any red socks to wear for myself today, but I was definitely on the lookout for anyone else sporting any. Unfortunately, The Book came out in 2005 and probably nobody else still cares about it. With that in mind, I didn't see anybody with a red sock today.

Day 356

"Carve something in a tree."

At my grandma's house there was a tree in the back woods that my parents carved their initials in when they started dating. What I wanted to do was to go out and find that tree and do my own carving, but due to crappy weather I wasn't able to make it out and had to settle for another tree in my own yard.

You can't see it so well, but it says "EH+SG"

Day 355

"Challenge everyone you meet to a game of tic-tac-toe. By the end of the day you will know how mentally agile you are relative to your social circle."

I didn't really meet that many people today, but my coworker and I played a few rounds while were weren't busy at work. Overall, she's definitely a worthy opponent.

Day 354

"Celebrate life by drinking nothing but champagne!"

Well, that sounds like a thoroughly bad idea. I did celebrate with a few glasses at the end of the night, but I definitely needed to drink other things to not die.

Day 353: Pay for Sex

"Reward your lover with a small sum, proportionate to the efforts exerted. After the initial surprise, they will appreciate the gesture, as well as the extra cash, and perform more keenly in the future in the hope of similar tips. Many staid relationships have been transformed overnight by this simple little trick, and some have even been saved!"

As funny as that sounds, I don't think I'm quite enough of a tool to do that.

Day 352

"Go into a bookstore and discreetly sign a few books by classic authors to enhance their value."

I didn't get a chance to go to a bookstore today, but I feel that they probably would have frowned upon that had I done so.

Day 351: Join the Freemasons

"Freemasonry: world-dominating conspiracy or well-meaning brotherhood of man? There's only one way to find out and that's to sign up! Today, send in your petition to become a Mason to your your nearest Masonic Lodge (address it to the Worshipful Master)."

I've actually thought about joining the Masons before, only because I'm into conspiracies and stuff like that, but still. Unfortunately, after looking into the eligibility requirements it turns out that you have to believe in some sort of god. That's not exactly the kind of thing I can fake my way into.

Day 350

"Today, chop down  a tree yourself."

Fortunately, today was the day that my family and I went to cut down our Christmas tree. I was super excited about this because I missed it for the past 3 years while I was at school and it was also the first time that my dad and I had both been home to cut down a tree in a long time. All in all, it was a really fun time minus the fact that there still isn't any snow.

Day 349: Don't Answer the Phone

"When Bell invented the telephone in 1876, people predicted that it would never catch on; being summoned by a ring was strictly for servants. And indeed, why let others dictate your movements? Strike a blow for personal freedom by ignoring the confounded machine."

Well, I didn't answer the phone at all today. I checked my cell phone a few times to check the time, but I didn't answer any calls at home or messages on my phone. Take that, other people!

Day 348

"What goes around comes around."

The book tells the story of how giving $20 to a tramp who then goes on to help others and so on. Tonight at work I made an especially tasty dinner for the servers in the hopes that when I need something done they'll be more on my side. Let's hope that what goes around really does come around.

Day 347: Make a Speech

"What's the point of having opinions if you don't share them with your fellow countrymen. A good speech an gilt a conscience, start a revolution, move you to tears, sometimes even get you laid. Choose a suitably public spot, stand on a box of some kind, and spew forth on a conversational topic."

I didn't get to make a speech in public, but I did take some time during work tonight to have a pretty in depth conversation about various things with one of my coworkers. It was a pretty nice change, seeing as how normally I don't talk about that much at work.