Day 203: Book Pyramid Scheme

"The business brains behind the Book are looking for go-getting individuals with a knack for selling and an eye for the main chance! You could make literally millions in no time, as a BBD (Book Direct Distributor). Here's how it works. We need people to sell the Book door-to-door, to those folk who can't make it to the bookstore for some reason. For every two salesmen you recruit, you get a commission (calculated on the basis of their future sales)! Sounds easy, don't it? Well it is. To get started, all you need is our Book Salesman Recruiting Pack (BSRP) available to order NOW for a measly $499.99 which you could recoup in as little as a week. It will teach you the tricks of the trade. But in the meantime, why not get started? Recruit a family member (minimum age 14) and you get 5% off the BSRP already!"

Man! What a steal, right? Once I get my paycheck, I'm going to jump right on this before all the good spots are snagged up!

Day 202: Pregnancy Test Day

"You can never be too careful. Take a pregnancy test to determine whether you're in the family way."

Since pregnancy tests are way too expensive to blow that kind of money for today, I think it's safe to assume that I'm not pregnant. Until they come up with some weird male pregnancy technology like in Junior, I'll be on the safe end for quite some time.

Day 201

"Today, become a contemporary artist."

Well, I'm not so great at coming up with art on my own. But I did decide to edit a photo a little bit, in honor of the new Batman movie coming out tonight. I call it "I Believe in Harvey Dent"

Day 200: Send a message in a Bottle

"Be sure to choose the appropriate bottle for your message."

Although The Book said that a beer bottle should only be used for party invitations, it was all I really had on hand today. I wrote my message, stuck it in the bottle, and sealed it with a cap. I then took a nice drive down to the lake, which I haven't done in FAR too long and tossed it in. Hopefully somebody will find it elsewhere, and it won't just wash back up on the shore.

Day 199: FAQs Day

"Memorize the answers the these questions, my child. Your life will depend on them at some point in the future."

The Book then lists a bunch of random facts for me to memorize. Some of them were pretty interesting, others were just weird and boring. Hopefully knowing some of that stuff will actually help me in the future.

Day 198: Have a good Cry

"Research has revealed that crying is good for us, indeed that it is physiologically essential. There are three different types of tears: 1. Basal Tears, that keep our eyes lubricated. 2. Reflex Tears, when a foreign body gets into or irritates our eyes. 3. Emotional Tears, when we react psychologically to something. Emotional tears contain chemically higher levels of manganese and prolactin hormone. Losing these through crying keeps depression away. This is why we feel better after a good cry."

I don't know exactly what qualifies a "good" cry, but I did get myself to cry a bit this morning. I just thought about a lot of things that I tend to keep bottled up. It was party due to stress at work, but mostly still grieving over the death of my good friend Mariah. I really tend to keep my emotions bottled up, but it always feels good just to let it out sometimes.

Day 197: Improve Your Signature

"In an increasingly digital society where you're defined by your social security and bank account numbers, your signature is one of the very last bastions of your individuality. Let other great historical signatures inspire it; refine it constantly; and above all take pride in it!"

I was actually practicing my signature just recently, in order to scan it for an email. I think I've got a pretty good one down.

I like it big and swooshy like that.