The End of the Tour

Well, that's all folks (not that anyone really read this thing anyway). I made it through the year. Overall, I think that The Book was a really fun experiment to change up my everyday routine and try some new things for a change. Admittedly, I didn't try as hard as I could have or should have on some of the days, especially towards the end (which is evident in the postings). For what it was, I really did have fun following The Book's instructions and trying to challenge myself to do new and different things with my life. However, it will be a bit of a relief now that I'm done with it. I'll be passing The Book on to a friend and hopefully she does her best to keep things interesting. To those of you that may have actually read this, thanks for following along. It's been one hell of a ride.

Day 365: New You Party

"Well Done! You have completed a full year of life-changing instructions. By now, you should be a completely different person. Throw a party where you will unveil the "new you" to your friends and acquaintances. You will probably find that your entourage no longer suits the new you. Where once you were quite happy to discuss last night's reruns of Cheers, now you crave conversation of a more cultivated nature, like some lights badinage about Brecht perhaps? Two solutions offer themselves to you. First, give all your old friends a copy of the Book so they can catch up with you. Second, discard them and acquire some new ones."

Well, I made it! A whole year of doing weird things everyday for pretty much nobody's entertainment but my own. Being that there's actually 366 days in this year, I'll having my festivities tomorrow but I wanted to make sure that I got the post in for today. As for my options with friends, I already have a friend who has chosen to take over the mantel of The Book and do her best to follow it's instructions. Once I get her address, I'll be mailing her The Book.

Day 364

"Try one of these sexual positions."

The Book then lists 16 positions ranging from Beginners to Porn Star. Whatever the position is where you work 10 hours and then drive home through a blizzard, that's the one that I tried and to be honest it wasn't that fun.

Day 363: Increase your tolerance for hot food

"Most westerners are used to bland seasoning, though with a bit of exercise they could get used to the spicier diet that other civilizations enjoy. Today, work out your current limits."

I already enjoy my food on the spicier side, but today I tried pushing my limits a little further. I thoroughly doused all my my food with hot sauces (Frank's Red Hot and a XXX Habenero sauce from Belize). However, I didn't notice any huge differences in how much I could handle. I guess you can just call me Johnny Storm.

Day 362

"Today, imagine what it would be like to be this person. Are you fulfilled  What is your job? Do you break down and sob quietly in the middle of the night? Are you sex-mad? What is your dream in life? Have you ever known true love?"

The guy pictured in the book is an old man that looks a lot like Rodney Dangerfield. I can only imagine what it feels like to get that little amount of respect.

Day 361

"Place an ant on this page and trace its movements with a pencil."

I tried finding an ant, but it's the middle of December and even if I felt like digging through the snow I doubt that I would find any to take.

Day 360: Disinherit a Relative!

"Does your teenage daughter monopolize the phone? Does your brother still call you Junior? Does your annoying cousin persist in claiming he has better barbecuing technique? Today, cut an undeserving relative out of your will, raising the stakes with expressions such as 'I renounce you,' 'You are no longer my mother,' or 'I can't believe you are the fruit of my loins.'"

Being that my family is already pretty small, nobody annoys me to the point of banishment. I will, however, keep the option in mind should the need ever arise.